When I someone teachs introductory computer science courses, it's really very boring.
I like to lighten the mood with some humor. Having a sense of fun about the material makes it less frustrating and more memorable, and it's even motivating if the joke requires some technical understanding to 'get it'!
I'll start off with a couple of my favorites:
Q: How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist?A: An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
And the classic:
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
I'm sure you would laugh if you're a programmer :)
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.""You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist."I do" replies the man. "How did you know?""Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."The man below replies, "You must work in management.""I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
“Knock, knock.”“Who’s there?”very long pause….“Java.”:-o
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
Q: how many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?A: none, that's a hardware problem
A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap.When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, “It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I’m glad she slapped him.”The Project manager is sitting there thinking, “I didn’t know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn’t missed him when she slapped me!”The young woman was sitting and thinking, “I’m glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!”The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, “Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at the same time!”
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.The physicist said "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed".The engineer said "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong".The programmer said "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You can have anything you want’.”The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”
Programming is like sex:One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
A Geologist and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Geologist leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Geologist persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5." Again, the Engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Geologist now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!"This catches the Engineer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Geologist asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the moon?"The Engineer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Geologist.Now, it's the Engineer's turn. He asks the Geologist, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?" The Geologist looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail.After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50. The Engineer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.The Geologist is more than a little miffed, shakes the Engineer and asks, "Well, so what's the answer?"Without a word, the Engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the Geologist $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.
